Every
time I read my prologue and first chapter, I think, this is weak. I need to rewrite it. And I have. I have re-written
and edited my first chapter a stupid amount of times. Stupid, because I know I
won’t get it right until the rest of the story is complete. It is the same for
the prologue.
Why
do I bother with them when I won’t know for certain how to introduce the story
while the rest is still shifting and unperfected?
An
annoying impulse to edit, even when unnecessary, has been the reason I have so
many unfinished manuscripts. I would dedicate so much time to perfecting the
first third of a novel that by the time I was halfway through, I had lost the
drive that inspired me in the first place.
It
was different for The Harlow (thank
heavens). I suppose it was recognition of this editing-obsession that allowed
me to do things differently this time. Admittedly, I was forever tempted to go
back and edit, and I cringed each time I read the story from the start. I had
to keep reminding myself to just get it
out, Danni. Just get it out.
I
approached The Harlow differently to
previous work. Instead of perfecting as I went along (which I now realise was
pointless and a waste of time) I simply wrote the story as I saw it in my mind,
some planned, some unfolding as I went along.
I
wrote and wrote and forced myself to keep
writing. If I had an idea half-way through that affected what I had written
at the start, I told myself I would fix it in the second draft. Just get it out.
And,
well, I suppose it worked because 10 months and 142330 words later, I was FINISHED.
It
was down, all of it, out of my head and onto a word document. That was exciting. And relieving.
One
of the reasons I found it difficult to refrain from editing was that I felt I
couldn’t share unedited work with friends. I mean, it was messy and crappy, why
would I? But I rely on others reading my work to reassure myself that my idea
has potential.
There
wasn’t really any way around it. I could talk about my idea as much as I
wanted, but the only person I allowed to read that first draft was my younger
sister. She’s an avid reader, not such a great critique, however. Her typical
response, ‘Yeah, it was good.’
Sometimes,
I would get; ‘Yeah it was good, I really liked it.’ – that’s exciting. I know she must have
enjoyed it if I get the I really liked it
at the end.
But,
I can’t complain, because I would never have gotten so far without her. She always read my work, despite being
seventeen and preoccupied with seventeen-year-old things, she always made time
to read what I’d written, often with enthusiasm. That was enough incentive for
me to keep writing, to believe that my idea, however poorly written at that
point, was worth pursuing.
I
hope that everyone has someone like my sister, someone who’s interest is enough
to keep you going. It makes such a difference.
If
you don’t, I am always happy to offer support, you need only ask :)
So —
that was one reason behind my delusion that I needed to re-write everything
each time I came back to look at it.
The
other, more obvious reason is that every time I reread previous work, I was a
better writer than when I first wrote it. In that space of time, I had read a
couple of novels, I had significantly extended my reference page (see my post
on The Importance of Recording) and I had
been writing. Of course I was going to be better.
For
anyone working on a first draft who suffers from editing-obsession, I seriously
recommend you do what you can to ignore the urge, no matter how much you
despise what you have previously written. Get it out, keep in mind that you
will come back to it later. This is particularly true for the beginning of your
story. How can you possibly know how it will begin when you are uncertain of
just how it will end?
I
read somewhere (I think it was Writing Fiction: An Introduction to the
Craft' by Garry Disher) that generally, the first chapter is the last an
author will work on. The most important thing is to actually have that first draft. Then, you can
edit, change, and do whatever else you like on it. At least the story now exists.
So,
10 months of writing and I had completed my first draft. YES! That was the
hardest part, right? The next draft can’t possibly take as long.
Wrong.
Wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong. I can’t tell you
how wrong I was.
I had
a serious misconception of what it takes to write a novel. Don’t be fooled, the
first draft is just the beginning, a
basis which you can now use to create an actual
story (which is why I think it’s so important to get your first draft down as
swiftly as possible).
When
I had finished my first draft and realised just what an enormous task I still
had ahead of me, it got me quite down. I thought it would be easier with the
first draft out of the way, not harder.
That was stupid of me. If I’d been listening properly, I would have known that
no part of writing a novel is easy. That’s one thing that every author seems to
agree on. Somehow, I chose to ignore that.
But,
even with the full weight of the daunting task ahead thrown upon me, I did not
for a second consider giving up. (Ok, maybe I did think about it in a
feel-sorry-for-myself moment, but I never gave it proper consideration).
I
can’t give up, I need to write, and I
want so badly to tell this story, I won’t ever be content until I do.
And
that’s all I really needed to know to get over my self- pity. I’m bound to this
stupid story, and no matter how much stress it causes, or how much of my time
it takes up, I’m going to see it through.
I
realise now that every author feels that. They write not because they were born
brilliant, but because they are irreversibly dedicated to seeing it through.
They have written and rewritten and written and rewritten again. Without such
senseless dedication, novels simply wouldn’t exist.
I
have now been working on my second draft for six months, and it’s obvious that
this one is going to take a lot
longer than the first. (Admittedly, I wrote very little during my 3 months
travelling). But, I’m not down about it anymore, not at all. (I have doubtful
moments, of course. Don’t we all?)
The
truth is, working on the second draft is fun.
Yes, it is slow moving and incredibly frustrating at times, but now I get
to really shape the story, let my imagination go wild, tinker with bits and
pieces, raise the stakes at certain points, give my characters more
personality, delve deeper into the world, make it real.
I am
god to the poor souls who are my characters, and it’s awesome.
I
read an article recently that urged writers to remember why they write. Because we love it. Because it’s fun. And if
it’s no longer fun, then you’re taking it too seriously.
Great
advice. I think that’s worth writing down and sticking on your wall. In fact,
I’m going to do that right now…
NEXT
ARTICLE – World Building and the Importance of Research
(If
you’re wondering why I had to rethink everything
before delving into Draft 2, check back for this next article.)
Recommended
if you're starting your first draft - Dan Well's Seven-Point Story Structure.
The author explains all on this podcast.
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